Someone smart gave me this.
How to Drive Yourself Crazy
1. Save your major worries until about midnight. Then start heavy thinking. Suggested topics include poverty in your old age, losing your job, the mistake that you made at work last week that they haven’t discovered yet, that suspicious wart that you’ve had for five years. You should work up a good panic by 1 a.m.2. Keep an inventory of your faults. Focus on your bad points. Ignore your strengths. Try to select friends who remind you of them. If you don’t have friends like this, you probably have some relatives who can be counted on to point out your weaknesses.
3. Set unreasonable goals. No matter how much money you’re earning, remember the others who are doing better. Try to name three of them - preferably younger and better looking than you are. Think about how others could do a better job than you are doing.
4. When your kids screw up, don’t accept it as routine. View it as the first sign of impending moral decay, delinquency and a wasted life. Imagine them as shiftless bums at 30. Sponging off you.
5. Put everything off until the last minute. In this way, you can create a sense of frenzy and chronic stress, regardless of how much time you initially had.
6. To aid in the creation of stress, try to sleep as little as possible. Eat junk food, drink a lot of coffee. Forget exercise.
7. Don’t let anyone else know how you feel or what you want. You shouldn’t have to tell them anyway, since they can read your mind. This way, you have a really good chance of feeling really deprived.
